Between loved ones and friends
by probablyawful
Summary: Collins tells Angel he loves her for the first time. Angel/Collins, and some Angel/Joanne friendship.
1. Chapter 1

"Collins, that you honey?"

Angel Dumott Schunard was standing in the kitchen of her and her lover's apartment. Well, to call it a kitchen might've been an underestimation. But it had a counter, a refrigerator and a stove, so they managed. Angel was just in the process of making dinner as her exhausted lover came home from work.

She kept going on: "I made you spaghetti. I don't know how well they turn out, but if they become a total disaster, I guess we could order from the Life again, I mean…"

More didn't Angel get to say before Collins moved up to where she stood, removed her hands gently from the spaghetti-bowl, took her face in his rather large hands and kissed her passionately. "I love you."

Those were the words. The three words he'd been meaning to tell Angel ever since he met her one week and a half ago.

He looked into his lover's eyes for acceptance. Angel's eyes had widened and had an expression of strong emotion, glee and a bit of doubt.

"Really?"

A slight smile appeared on the Latina's lips.

Collins took her hands in his, looked deeply into her eyes and said with all sincerity: "Angel. I love you more than I had ever thought was possible. You mean everything to me, baby."

Another, more passionate kiss was given and received, and as Angel took herself a couple of seconds to really register what was going on, emotion suddenly tugged on her eyes.

"Collins," she whispered, trying to get her voice to work, - "Collins, I love you."

Her voice broke and she nearly fell into her lover's arms.

Collins had to chuckle at his lover's reaction, but he had to admit he had forgotten how sensitive Angel was when it came to certain things. She was almost erratic that way, but Collins knew it had to do with her past. How many people had ever told her they loved her?

"Aw, baby," he soothed, - "Don't cry love, you're so perfect."

A soft sob escaped Angel, and Collins kissed the top of her head a couple of times.

Angel finally came to her senses. "I'm sorry," she said in a wavering voice, - "I'm so sorry, it's just… You're the first person who ever…"

"I know," Collins interrupted, wiping away a couple of tears from his lover's face, - "And that's really hard for me to understand."

He gave her a soft smile and kissed her again before the dinner was ready.

**Don't worry! Another chapter is coming up, where Angel tells one of the other Rent-characters how much Collins means to her. **


	2. Chapter 2

"Angel," Joanne said firmly as she and Angel were seated in the Life Cafe the morning after. Joanne had decided to take the day off, simply because Angel had convinced her that she deserved it.

Now the lawyer was seated with her in their second home, and Angel had hardly said anything the whole day, let alone been drinking her hot chocolate. She had just been smiling sheepishly as if she carried a huge secret.

"What chica?"

Joanne took a deep breath. "You haven't said anything the whole day."

"I have!" Angel protested, - "I said…"

"You've said hi and what you would order and so on," Joanne finished, - "But still… What's nagging you?"

She almost sounded worried now. Then Angel broke out in a couple of fit giggles, and Joanne was afraid she was going to get choked.

"What is it Ang? Spit it!" she commanded.

Angel took herself a break, before she spoke with a smile so wide it could light up anyone's bad day.

"Yesterday Collins said I love you," she said, and then she started laughing again.

Joanne swore she had never heard a more heart filled laughter in her entire life. "Angel!" she gasped, - "He did?"

Angel just nodded, and Joanne swore she could see a couple of tears showing up in the Latina's eyes. Out of respect she handed her a napkin which she gratefully accepted as she laughed a little more, allowing a few tears to flow down her cheeks.

It was the first time Joanne had ever said Angel cry, but she was happy this was the way she got to see it.

"My God Angel…," she whispered, - "That's amazing. He is so good for you!"

"He is too good for me," Angel said, while shaking her head as if still being in denial that this was really happening to her.

Joanne shook her head no. "No, he's not. He's perfect for you. You're perfect for each other."

Angel gave away a relieved little sigh. After a couple of moments, Joanne asked: "So… How did you react?"

Angel chuckled slightly and said: "I started to cry. I don't know, I just… I've had so many before him, but they…"

She paused and Joanne just nodded. "Used you?"

Angel nodded and shrugged. "I guess. But now… I mean, this is so different! It's love, Joanne, as jacked as it may sound."

Joanne smiled warm-heartedly now. "I'm happy for you," she smiled.

There was another pause, and Joanne suddenly looked like she had given up on everything. Angel's smile faded and she put the lawyer's hand in hers.

"What's the matter sweetie?"

Joanne shook her head. "Nothing…"

"Honey, I love you and you're a bad liar… How do you even manage as a lawyer?" Angel joked.

Joanne gave a cold-hearted chuckle. "It's Maureen," she admitted.

Angel smiled weakly. "Yeah, how are things going between you?"

Joanne shrugged. "OK I guess… I still expect her to be cheating on me though…"

Angel gave a sympathetic look. "That's pretty understandable, sweetie."

Joanne then looked up, right into the eyes of the Latina. "You think I'm a total control freak, don't you?"

Angel frowned slightly, but a grin appeared on her lips at the same time. Then she shook her head and got mock serious. "I think you're amazing."

She smiled and Joanne's face softened. "You do?"

Angel nodded. "Yeah… As much as I love Maureen I understand your reactions."

Joanne sighed. "You're different Angel."

Angel laughed. "Thanks, tell me something I don't know."

"I mean it, Ang." Joanne was serious. "I know what the gang is saying about me…"

Angel interrupted: "They love you."

Joanne chuckled cold-heartedly again. "Then why are they talking behind my back?"

Angel sighed and shook her head. "I don't know. But I know they love you, they just don't…" She hesitated. "They don't understand you. I know what that's like."

Joanne tried to smile but she only got halfway there. "Could you…?" Her turn to hesitate.

Angel grabbed both Joanne's hands. "Could I what, sweetie?"

Joanne let out a short breath. "Could you just try to stick up for me, just a little, when people are saying those things…?"

"I already do."

"I know they think I'm being unfair, but I'm not… I am just… I just love Maureen and I want her to be with me… Only me."

Angel nodded. "I know," she said, - "I know all about this Joanne, I've been in a cheating relationship myself."

The pieces fell together. Suddenly it dawned on Joanne that there were two people sharing a story in the café.

"You have?"

Angel nodded. "Well, I've got Collins now… But a couple of years ago… Wow… I was in a relationship with this guy… Serious for once. After a month he came home smelling like sex and alcohol and female perfume and Lord knows what."

Joanne nodded. "Sounds familiar… Just the other way around."

Angel smiled a little. "It does, right? It went on for one month more, when I'd just had enough."

Joanne took a sip of her coffee, which she had barely touched all afternoon. "What did you do?"

Angel sighed. "I confronted him."

She leaned back in her chair a little. "I confronted him and told him straight out I knew he was cheating."

Joanne tried to continue the story; "And he…?"

"He got mental… Started calling me those things people call you; control freak… Yeah, all those things. I started summing up all the symptoms I had, just to make him confess… Then finally he did."

She brought the napkin to her lips to wipe away the hot chocolate that wasn't there. "There were no explanations or anything… No apologies…"

"He said nothing?"

Angel nodded rapidly. "Yes, he did. He said…" She sighed. "Wow, this is hard. He… He asked me what I expected. Asked me how I thought anyone could ever love me when they could have real women…"

"He said that?" Joanne's eyes had widened.

Angel nodded. "Yeah, he did."

"Did you hit him?"

Angel laughed. "No, but I wish I did…" There was a long pause. "No, it was more the other way around."

Joanne frowned. "He hit you after he said all those things?"

Angel shrugged. "I was about to break down when he said that. But I just thought to myself that I couldn't let him see me cry. So I just started yelling at him. I don't remember what I said, but I believe I pulled off a lot of Spanish curse words."

She attempted a slight chuckled and Joanne caressed her hands. "Jesus Angel…," she said, - "I'm sorry."

Angel nodded. "I know. It's OK. I mean… It's OK now. But he… He just snapped and he started beating me."

She took a shaky breath but her eyes remained dry. "Damn," she said, - "I shouldn't be dwelling here. My life is perfect now. I have wonderful friends and…" She smiled widely again, - "And a man who loves me."

She didn't manage mentioning yesterday's happening without giggling and Joanne smiled.

"You're strong Angel," she said and shook her head in amazement, - "I wish I had your strength."

Angel sighed. "I just know that love is not a waste, honey. It's now or never. Carpe diem. We might not get tomorrow. I think you should go get Maureen while you can. You have her and she loves you. She just doesn't know what relationships mean. Give her another chance. Let her get used to you."

She rose up. "You finished?"

"Yeah." Joanne stood up as well.

Once outside Angel lit a cigarette and offered Joanne one. "No thanks," Joanne shook her off, - "Trying to quit."

Angel smiled and nodded. "Good idea. But you know, when you have aids you don't have time to struggle with little things like cancer."

Joanne pulled off a laugh. "Well," she said, - "I'd better get back to my office."

Angel nodded. Another pause.

"It was nice talking to you," Joanne said, even though she had so many other words than 'nice' to pull off.

Angel nodded. "Right back."

Joanne was about to walk away when Angel asked: "I'm not getting a hug?"

Joanne laughed and wrapped Angel into one of the tightest hugs she had ever given. "Thanks for everything Ang," she said.

Angel smiled. "You'll be fine, sugar."

Joanne nodded. "I know," she said, - "And I'm really happy for you."

When Angel came home to her lover that day he was already on the couch. She said nothing as she entered the door. She just sat down beside him and cuddled up against him. He wrapped his strong arms around her. "Where you been, baby?" he asked.

"Out with Joanne," Angel answered and pecked Collins on the lips.

"You get along fine?"

Angel nodded. "She's a sweet girl, Collins," she said sincerely.

Collins nodded. "Yeah, I know…"

Angel sighed and cuddled even closer. "I'm so glad I have you," she whispered.

Collins pulled her tighter and kissed the top off her head. He brought some of her wig between his fingers. "Mind if I take this off?"

Angel laughed. "Sure, go ahead."

In a swift move Collins removed Angel's wig and threw it into a corner. He allowed his hands to go to her natural hair. He loved moving his fingers through her curls. "I love you," he whispered, - "I'm sorry if you start crying again, but I do."

Angel chuckled. "I love you too," she said, - "I have never loved anyone the same way."


End file.
